With children going to school for around 40 weeks of the year, it makes sense to try and have a routine – especially during the Monday to Friday mornings when everyone needs to leave the house. Having some structure helps everyone know what’s expected, and for our family, that’s particularly important. With two children on the autism spectrum, routines help keep things calmer and more predictable. Knowing what needs to be done can stabilise the day before it’s even begun.
That doesn’t mean it always runs smoothly. Some mornings flow others don’t. But sticking with routines does help over time – even if it doesn’t make things easier in the moment.
Our mornings start early. I’m usually up around 6am, feeding the dogs and chooks, packing my lunch for work, and still doing at least one lunchbox for the kids. I wish they’d take that on themselves, but for now it avoids arguments first thing in the morning. I’ll shower, then start getting the kids out of bed if they’re not already up by 7am.
Breakfast is fairly simple – usually toast with Vegemite for one, while the older teenager just needs a reminder to organise something and stay on track. Lunchboxes get packed, uniforms get checked, and we move through the house in stages as everyone gets ready to leave. Somewhere in amongst all of that, I also make sure I’ve taken meat out of the freezer for one of the regular home-cooked meals during the week, before heading off to work just before 8am.
On paper, two hours should be plenty of time. And if it were just me, it would be. But mornings involve the whole family, and every day is different depending on how everyone is feeling. Cooperation, energy levels, and emotional regulation can vary wildly from one morning to the next.
We don’t load the mornings up with extra chores for the kids. From experience, that usually leads to too much reminding, frustration on my part, and bad moods that follow them into the school day. When it’s already taken a lot of effort just to get everyone ready and out the door, adding more pressure rarely helps. Thats just lowering pressure without lowering values.
What makes these routines exhausting isn’t that they’re complicated. It’s the constant attention they require. Watching moods, adjusting expectations, deciding when to push and when to let something go – all before the day has really started. Even when nothing goes wrong, there’s a quiet mental load that comes with holding everything together.
Routines are meant to make family life easier, and in many ways they do. But that doesn’t mean they’re effortless. And feeling drained by a “simple” routine doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong – it often means you’re doing it thoughtfully.
If this resonated, you might also like reading “When family life feels harder than you expected” – where I reflect further on the quiet weight of everyday expectations.